Less is known about Ewan than about any other member of Too Many Monkeys. Although he claims to be from Bedford this life is a tissue of easily debunkable lies. The woman he claims to be his Mother has never been seen in public and the man he claims to be his Father works in an unspecified role for MI5 and refuses to discuss his son. All documentation of this Bedford life, including his school records and birth certificate, are obviously crude forgeries.
The truth, however, is harder to discern. A man matching his description has often been reported in the vicinity of high profile US Politicians over the last fifty years, although no photographs exist. This unknown man is popular amongst conspiracy theorists where he is niknamed the "Pie Eating Man" and reckoned to be the mastermind behind JFK's assasination and Nixon's downfall. In the Tarim Basin of China there is apparently an enourmous idol carved into the mountainside in the uncanny likeness of Ewan, although this cannot be verified. The French police have questioned him on several occasions but have always released him without charge, it is not known what these interviews were about. Several people have commented on the likeness between Ewan and the supposed "Face on the Moon" although this can be dissmissed as coincidence.
The circumstances of Ewan's relationship with Too Many Monkeys is equally mysterious. None of the other members recall how he came to be a member and all accuse the others of initiating him in to the circle. They all, however, insist that, despite all evidence, he is a vital and contributing member of the group and that they could not continue without him.
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